Monthly Archives - January 2022
21Jan

It Gets Better.

Does it get better, or is it you who gets stronger? As the life you probably 'prepared' for starts to unfold and you try to have a grasp of its speed, twists and turns; you would observe the different ways that the other military spouses around you have adapted to survive. Some women form prayer groups that meet up at slated times to pray for their serving spouses and other matters of importance to them. A few women go right back to their parents and or to their in-laws at the mention of deployment, especially deployments to the North-east. Others form ‘gist’ or gossip groups which is normal in any human community, where they ‘gist’ by saying mean things about others, and it becomes gossip when others say mean things about them. They 'know' all the juicy half-truths and quarter lies about everything and everyone; spreading the half-truths is the objective of such groups. There are yet some who simply neglect all forms of interaction and stay in their houses; secluded. Others interact at community level with their immediate neighbor’s when the loneliness bites hard, while some others simply throw caution to the wind in their interactions. Should you decide to stay back, loneliness would be your friend; you’d know it like the back of your hand while you experience a range of other challenges, particularly as a greenhorn in the barracks. On the flip side, you would familiarize and adjust quicker, as you also cash in on your greatest asset; the other women in your new life. With a focused mind, you’d realize there’s more to life than waiting around for your husband to make it back from his deployment, while you languish in loneliness. This mindset has been the birth of the many thriving ventures of military wives.  I'd like to think that whichever coping tactic a person takes is fine provided no one is hurt; or at least not too badly. On a personal note, interactions for the first 3 years began from a place of 'denial' to 'researcher' (I read every printed material, can't say what I was looking for), to community level interaction where I met an awesome arguing partner (may God rest her soul), we argued most times till late in the night, about what I don't seem to remember now. I had been married for 5 months, with a two and half month pregnancy when...

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15Jan

There is such a time in every military wife’s life when her husband is either in the field, on course, foreign posting or exercise. The wife doubles as the father and mother to the children and she'll have to manage everything all by herself including emergencies at night; she drives herself to the hospital for the delivery of her new born baby and the husband may not even witness the christening of the baby. There are times emotions set in and you want to cry eloquently about your problems to your faraway husband and you suddenly remember he needs to be mentally stable to be able to discharge his duties amid difficulties and danger, and you gently remind yourself his primary assignment is to protect the country while the protection of his wife and children is secondary. There is always the fear looming at the back of her mind over her husband’s safety, the inevitable long wait for his safe return is always a test of patience. A soldier does not fight to win battles but he fights to get back home and some of them may never get back home, may never have the privilege to bid their family farewell. Happy Armed Forces Remembrance Day to our fallen heroes.     Fagoyinbo Adenike Lydia.

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13Jan

We Salute Your Selflessness And Sacrifice.

Today, like many other days, we remember the sacrifices of the brave men and women of the Armed Forces of Nigeria, most of whom have laid down their lives for God and country. Your sacrifices are not in vain and it is in your honour that we hold this yearly to remember your selflessness, service, loyalty and patriotism. The ideals of selflessness are still observed today as our servicemen and women fulfil their duty to our dear nation. The challenges of banditry, herdsmen clashes, ‘unknown gun men’ and the scourge of terrorism still looms but, we seek to defeat such threats in our country drawing upon the experience and example of those who have gone before us. We are free and would most certainly enjoy freedom into the future generations because of the sacrifices made by our military predecessors deployed in different operations and missions across Nigeria and indeed Africa. We commend your consistency of putting country first before self that has been passed down to this generation and would be handed over to the next. Today we remember not only the service given but also the service that veterans continue to give within our society. Whilst it is saddening to see families of fallen heroes neglected and uncared for, it is equally sad hearing about attacks on retired service men. Perhaps, if we value the sacrifices given by our veterans, and recognize the value they still offer to our society, then our societies will better take care of the interests of our heroes. We have a responsibility to remember the fallen, it is right that we honour the memories of those who have lost their lives and offer thanks for the loyalty, service, and sacrifice of those who have fought for the freedoms we enjoy today- We salute you.   Photo Credit: IBI Foundation

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10Jan

A charming Knight In Shining Armour

Military weddings are a spectacle to behold, with lasting visuals images imprinted in the minds of all guests. The military bands’ rendition jostle’s most guests as each rhythm and crescendo goes off and you may wish they never stop playing. Regardless of the type of wedding solemnization a service member chooses to contract, the bridegroom and their guests enjoy a state of the art military parade as prescribed for such an occasion. Personally, I would like to think that the icing on the cake for military weddings is the sword party; where the newly wedded, the bridal train and the parents of the bridegroom exit the building where the marriage was celebrated into a formation of officers lined facing each other, with swords raised and crossed above them in an arch and the blades almost touching each other as they walk through, with a swarm of other guests watching on the other end. The colour blend of the ceremonial dresses at a military wedding is the brightest and most colourful scene, after the rainbow. The military groom is indeed a knight in shining armour. He is decked in a pair of clear, high gloss, long lasting mirror shined toe caps, looking truly elegant and sophisticated. Adorned on a brightly coloured ceremonial dress (colour may differ, depending on arm of service), ornamented with lanyard, a shoulder piece used as insignia for rank ,a bright colour sash, lampasse on the side of the trouser, a peek cap almost concealing his face and a sword hanging by his waist. He is gracefully charmed and perfect looking. This charm is such that you cannot wait to be taken home to begin your happily ever after journey. You could barely contain your excitement, while your family, friends, and well-wishers enjoy the glitz and glamour and admire with expressive approval.  You can be rest assured that your prim and fault-finding aunties would approve too. Your fecund imagination runs wild with ideas about the home you'd build together and the memories you'd make. Indeed, nothing compares to this celebration, it feels surreal. The jewel in the crown of your fantasies is here, a moment to cherish forever. At the wedding reception, the bridegroom cuts their cake with a sword presented to the groom on behalf of the President and Commander in-chief, thereafter the bride is led to conduct the military band among other funfair. As the reception winds off,...

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