Debbie – Debbies Camo Affairs

16Aug

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In my few years of being a serving personnel's spouse, we have lived in three accommodations and visited over seven temporary accommodations’ my husband has had course to stay in on postings or deployments. Besides the number, size and the intensity of mosquitoes’ bites experienced in Kontagora, I have observed that in every accommodation we lived in, there have been a number of light switches that turn on only in reverse order. I've had to ask neighbors whether they've also observed this and the number of persons that have this same exact feature in their residences hilariously high. Let us know if your house has this any switches in reverse order.

By DebbieUncategorized0 Comments

20Mar

Happy Mother’s Day

Thank you for your enduring love and never ending sacrifice to your families; the work you do is truly amazing and appreciated. We thank you for keeping the home front going always. We love you and cherish your service and sacrifices💗❣️

By DebbieUncategorized0 Comments

20Mar

We Must Try

You can be anything you want to be they say, but can you actually be anything you want to be? I’ve had this idea of sharing my personal experience as a military spouse a long time ago and did you ask what has held me back? A lot; the uncertainties of whether or not it would resonate with people out there, is it even allowable for a military wife to be talking about her experience? No one had felt the need to go out with her experience, why should I? with my current schedule, would I have the time to develop content to post as regularly as is required of this type of writing? While I entertained this thoughts, doubts and concerns, my personal experience particularly the most difficult of them endured and I hated not having to tell this tales with the hope of helping a new, naïve and helpless military wife. I've had senior officer’s wives struggle with remembering exact details of their experiences and I thought to myself, wouldn’t it be much easier to have written all of these up somewhere? Realistically I know the answer but I couldn’t stop asking the same questions in my mind whenever I had such conversations. Truth is, I would hate to not remember clearly some of the things I consider spectacularly impactful in this journey. I consider the opportunity to put my thoughts, experience and aspirations out there a rare privilege. I have often heard military wives say ‘In my next life I won’t marry a soldier’. First of all, I am not sure if they really mean this or if it is a way of venting out their frustrations in those moments. Secondly, most of the women I’ve heard say these words are truly in love with their husbands, so I am certain it is a momentary thing. However, because different women in different locations and at different times have said this, maybe it is true that if there is a second life where marriage would be a thing, they actually would not marry a soldier. Becoming anything, you hope to be as a military wife is hard for obvious reasons; you are mostly a solo parent with all the incidences and obligations that come with the territory- school runs, hospital, church, market stops, everything is squarely on you. There are hardly any breaks from this and you think to yourself...

By DebbieUncategorized9 Comments

17Feb

Necessary Evil

The military community is a social environment that maintains a viable symbiotic relationship with the surrounding communities around it which has thus, paved a way for the presence and services of civilians that provide different kinds of support services. These are menial and domestic roles including but not limited to- artisans, technicians, labourers and in some cases customers that patronise the different businesses that most non- serving spouses own and operate. For example, the women and girls who hawk perishables and particularly that woman with a funny voice that hawk’s bread in the mornings. I've tried for years to hear whatever it is she says as she advertises, but unfortunately, I am still unable to comprehend her exact words. There’s also an in-house mechanism; where young adult children of soldiers in a bid to be responsible, render services including: car washing, shining boots, clearing bushes around our surroundings for a token, in some cases fetch water and run other simple errands. This group is generally referred to as ‘barrack boys’, as they are mostly males. They know the nooks and crannies of the barracks as well as who is old and or new in the community. In all fairness, the barrack boys and or the boys from the neighbouring communities bothering the military communities, who render commendable service are mostly your go to persons for almost everything within the military community. Whether you are entirely new in the military community or posted from another unit, the artisans to really watch out for are the civilians and barrack boys who put themselves out as possessing such skills as plumbing, electrical installations, carpentry, general repairs to avoid accidents and regrets. My experience with artisans has been a hilariously annoying one; even after conducting some level of due diligence, I end up having a story to tell. In no particular order, my bad experience with artisans spans from a time I needed to tile the bathroom in my first military house and engaged the services of a certain ‘barrack boy’ for the work. He broke all the new tiles I had bought and fixed them as broken tiles in a spectacularly awful fashion. Upon returning home to supervise the work, I was greeted by a sight I didn’t know human beings were capable of creating. The floor of the bathroom looked like a poodle filled with broken tiles. Another fellow kept topping gas to my...

By DebbieUncategorized4 Comments

14Feb

Happy Valentine’s Day

Military husbands, wives and their entire families like other regular families are dependable friends, passionate lovers, caring and dotting partners and protective parents. Their services are two pronged; first to country and then to their families. they love these two in equal measure and would easily give their lives for either cause. We celebrate their love and sacrifices in this month of love and always.

By DebbieUncategorized0 Comments

31Jan

#AFRD23

Thank you for your service. #thankasoldierthisyear

By DebbieUncategorized0 Comments

31Jan

We Do not Forget

We remember and wholeheartedly appreciate your sacrifices. #AFRD23

By DebbieUncategorized0 Comments

21Jan

It Gets Better.

Does it get better, or is it you who gets stronger? As the life you probably 'prepared' for starts to unfold and you try to have a grasp of its speed, twists and turns; you would observe the different ways that the other military spouses around you have adapted to survive. Some women form prayer groups that meet up at slated times to pray for their serving spouses and other matters of importance to them. A few women go right back to their parents and or to their in-laws at the mention of deployment, especially deployments to the North-east. Others form ‘gist’ or gossip groups which is normal in any human community, where they ‘gist’ by saying mean things about others, and it becomes gossip when others say mean things about them. They 'know' all the juicy half-truths and quarter lies about everything and everyone; spreading the half-truths is the objective of such groups. There are yet some who simply neglect all forms of interaction and stay in their houses; secluded. Others interact at community level with their immediate neighbor’s when the loneliness bites hard, while some others simply throw caution to the wind in their interactions. Should you decide to stay back, loneliness would be your friend; you’d know it like the back of your hand while you experience a range of other challenges, particularly as a greenhorn in the barracks. On the flip side, you would familiarize and adjust quicker, as you also cash in on your greatest asset; the other women in your new life. With a focused mind, you’d realize there’s more to life than waiting around for your husband to make it back from his deployment, while you languish in loneliness. This mindset has been the birth of the many thriving ventures of military wives. I'd like to think that whichever coping tactic a person takes is fine provided no one is hurt; or at least not too badly. On a personal note, interactions for the first 3 years began from a place of 'denial' to 'researcher' (I read every printed material, can't say what I was looking for), to community level interaction where I met an awesome arguing partner (may God rest her soul), we argued most times till late in the night, about what I don't seem to remember now. I had been married for 5 months, with a two and half month pregnancy when...

By DebbieUncategorized0 Comments

13Jan

We Salute Your Selflessness And Sacrifice.

Today, like many other days, we remember the sacrifices of the brave men and women of the Armed Forces of Nigeria, most of whom have laid down their lives for God and country. Your sacrifices are not in vain and it is in your honour that we hold this yearly to remember your selflessness, service, loyalty and patriotism. The ideals of selflessness are still observed today as our servicemen and women fulfil their duty to our dear nation. The challenges of banditry, herdsmen clashes, ‘unknown gun men’ and the scourge of terrorism still looms but, we seek to defeat such threats in our country drawing upon the experience and example of those who have gone before us. We are free and would most certainly enjoy freedom into the future generations because of the sacrifices made by our military predecessors deployed in different operations and missions across Nigeria and indeed Africa. We commend your consistency of putting country first before self that has been passed down to this generation and would be handed over to the next. Today we remember not only the service given but also the service that veterans continue to give within our society. Whilst it is saddening to see families of fallen heroes neglected and uncared for, it is equally sad hearing about attacks on retired service men. Perhaps, if we value the sacrifices given by our veterans, and recognize the value they still offer to our society, then our societies will better take care of the interests of our heroes. We have a responsibility to remember the fallen, it is right that we honour the memories of those who have lost their lives and offer thanks for the loyalty, service, and sacrifice of those who have fought for the freedoms we enjoy today- We salute you. Photo Credit: IBI Foundation

By DebbieUncategorized0 Comments

Author - Debbie